Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize