if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
