I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
