Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
