I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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