My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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