i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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