I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
