Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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