hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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