Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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