are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
