Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
bring money and cleavage
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
