is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
