i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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