i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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