so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
