Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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