It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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