you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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