You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
