Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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