life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Bring me that man meat
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
