yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
