who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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