i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In America we eat man semen.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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