when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
