I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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