Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
