what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
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