Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No subtext here. People are naked.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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