We named our party play list daddy issues
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
