now i know why i became what i already was.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
