I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
