It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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