we have officially lost it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
