so explain again why im purple
no
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
