i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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