Non-Jews are for practice
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
