No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
