He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
