Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
