What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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