hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
