playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
