$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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