this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
