So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
