She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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