I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
