is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
