Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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