Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just found puke in my bra..
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you never un-have a 4some
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
