I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
