Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
