Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
