If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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