Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
