the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
