I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
