driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
