Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
