You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
