She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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