Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
