Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
